CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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