so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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