I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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