someone threw a dead crab at me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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