please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
