i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
