Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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