I puked a lego.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
