Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
