WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
