i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize