I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize