This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
