Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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