was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
honey bunches of taint.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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