i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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