wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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