Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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