can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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