Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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(347): View more from New York

my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand

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(937): View more from Ohio

oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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(402): View more from Nebraska

hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

come over

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(904): View more from Florida

whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Trying to grind with crutches was not a success

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.

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(317): View more from Indiana

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?

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