Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
