dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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