That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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