I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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