so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
