apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
