PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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