if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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