My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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