i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
