I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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