How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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