Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
