I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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