Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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