yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
