hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
