just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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