I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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