How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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