Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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