Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
