so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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