All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
