You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar