Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though