i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
