return my video game
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel