We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
