Quick, to the slutcave!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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