when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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