i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
