Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
