if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
