and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
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whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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