her vagine was all disorganized.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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