Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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