Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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