She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
