Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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