ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
