it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
