Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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