Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
