Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
