If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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